Make your bicycle sound like a horse or a Harley

Bicycles are famously and perfectly silent, a huge benefit to the environment.

But a North American company reckons this needs a shake-up. Silence on city streets equals danger, believes Sound of Motion. Here’s the company’s promo video. Get ready for your jaw to drop.

With a motion simulator attached to your wheels, a download from the Sound of Motion website and a cellphone you can make your bike sound like a throaty motorbike or an inpatient horse, perfect for spooking joggers. According to Sound of Motion, the noise maker will make motorists take more notice of bikes. Or, of course, it could lead to even more collisions as drivers p*ss themselves giggling…

Sound of Motion’s application runs on any Java-enabled mobile phone with Bluetooth for wireless connectivity to a sensor attached to a bicycle wheel. It could also used by drivers of silent hybrid and electric cars, reckons Sound of Motion.

The sound simulation technology allows MP3 phones to play various sound themes through a mini-amplifier, attached to the phone mounting base, according to the cyclist’s speed and acceleration. Current sound themes simulate a motorcycle, a horse and a steam train. Users could also compose and broadcast their own sound themes. Farting dogs? Screaming pedestrians? Laughing policemen?

Team GB riders, out training on the hills around Manchester, could use the sound of competitor nations sobbing and gnashing their teeth. Floyd Landis could use one equipped with the sound of Nazi frogmen swimming to rescue Dick Pound drowning in his own bile.

But, forget the sound chip, the Bluetooth sensor isn’t just a noise-maker, it can also turn your cellphone into a cycle computer. The motion sensor will send data that calculates speed, acceleration and distance travelled.

As far as I can tell this is not an April Fool or a product mocked-up for YouTube. Sound of Motion is an offshoot of BASS OT Inc, founded in 2005 in Vancouver. The company’s principal consultant - and inventor of the patent-pending Sound of Motion device - is Vladimir Savchenko, said to have “17 years of experience in Information Technology, working in corporate and government sectors.”

Savchencko developed his noise maker for hybrid car users - he’s one himself - but he sees more potential in the world of bicycling:

“Cars and pedestrians often collide with cyclists on busy streets because they just can’t hear an approaching bicycle. Imagine, if your bicycle could sound like a Harley?”